The 1412 Wrestling: an absurd AI Wrestling Promotion

1412 Wrestling Episode 52: AVGN/Austin/Nash/Gaffler/Conner, Pratt vs Bars in a Cell

Preview: 1412 Wrestling – Episode 52
“Chaos in Every Corner, Destiny at Every Turn”
Episode 52 of 1412 Wrestling arrives like a runaway cement truck fueled by ancient relics, soda-fueled grudges, forbidden spellcraft, and unresolved plumbing invoices. As always, the arena has no idea what it's in for. With more combustible personalities than a police evidence locker full of Roman candles, this episode marks a critical turning point in the power structure of 1412. Alliances are strained, champions are hunted, and reality itself seems to bend under the pressure of Danny Tanner’s notoriously unstable booking patterns.
In the night’s main event, the most volatile match imaginable closes the show: a Five-Way Elimination bout for the coveted 1412 Championship, with The Angry Video Game Nerd defending his title against the most dangerous cross-section of chaos imaginable. Kevin Nash, money-drunk from his past abuse of the Ancient Relic, returns with Scott Hall and X-Pac by his side. Stone Cold Steve Austin, still fuming after last week’s betrayal and loss, is locked in on regaining the top prize. Bob Gaffler, backed by the Pavers, may have the lowest morals but the most unpredictable rage. And then there’s Dan Conner, haunted by chants of “You nailed Pete!” and ready to silence everyone with his fists. Five men. One title. Elimination rules. No guarantees anyone makes it out unscathed—or unpaved.
But before that powder keg explodes, the night opens with another grudge match soaked in drama and blood: Bars defends his Ambush Title Shot contract against Chris Pratt inside Hell in a Cell, with the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade banned from ringside. The rivalry between Bars and Pratt has gone from absurd to personal, with Bars blaming Pratt for everything from cinematic mediocrity to the existence of chocolate ice cream. With the Ambush Shot hanging in the balance, and the Brigade forcibly neutralized, this one might get even uglier than a boiled egg at room temperature.
Things don’t get any calmer in the realm of broken glass and expired food. The Hardcore Championship is on the line in a four-way catastrophe as L.A. Beast—known for devouring dangerous things and throwing up on opponents—defends against Mewtwo, Jay (accompanied by Silent Bob), and the utterly unpredictable Paula Abdul. With Beast riding high off his last victory and Mewtwo harboring dark energy, Jay & Silent Bob providing chaos, and Abdul bringing style and speed, this match promises to resemble a demolition derby in a vending machine.
Speaking of bizarre collisions: Bobby Heenan returns to ringside with his newest enigma—the random old guy, replacing his former client, the dangerous Random Kid. But the opponent is no easy target: the proud Saiyan prince Vegeta makes his return to 1412, likely with zero tolerance for geriatrics or gimmicks. It’s the Heenan Family vs Saiyan honor, and someone’s getting humbled fast.
Meanwhile, trios warfare erupts as Gary Busey, The Minotaur, and The Iron Sheik represent the ever-unhinged Golf Cart faction against a nostalgic but fragile trio: Cory Matthews, Shawn Hunter, and Topanga Lawrence. With tensions high and the Sheik armed with a beer bottle and limitless hatred, will Cory finally tag in, or just let his friends get slaughtered?
From beer bottles to bandages, another wild contest looms as Mike Tyson returns—accompanied by his flock of 100 pigeons—for a four-way fight against Spopovich of the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade, Jason Voorhees, and the mysterious Egyptian Mummy, with Eric Matthews at its side. This match is less about strategy and more about surviving long enough to remember your name.
Then it’s time to plant some roots in the title scene—literally. The Stable Championships are on the line as reigning champion The Giant Tree Drinking Lean defends its odd yet dominant title reign against the reunited Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Joey Abs, and Pete Gas). It’s nature vs nurture… assuming you count gas station brawls in Greenwich, CT as nurturing.
As branches snap, so do ropes—barbed ropes, to be exact. In a brutal eight-person tag match, the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade (Sonic, Donkeylips, Jackie Chan, Bebe Rexha) face off with Tool Time's Tim Taylor and Al Borland, joined by Goofy and Donald Duck. With boiled egg slander in the air and the Tool Time crew defending their honor, expect pain, tangled fur, and emotional wounds that no power drill can fix.
The violence doesn’t stop there. In what might be the most crowded mid-card disaster ever, a ten-way fight is held under one condition: the loser has to steam clean the entire arena. Featuring the likes of Shredder, Tony Hawk, Strong Mad, The Goon, Red Ninja, Happy Gilmore, Tia Mowry, Aly, Bub the Zombie, and Jim Morrison, the only guarantee is that someone will be left holding a mop and hating every second of it.
But the magic returns when Ariana Grande, Android 18, Demi Lovato, and Soda Popinski collide in a chaotic fatal four-way. Ariana, toeing the line between fan favorite and forbidden sorceress, has demanded another shot at Alf and the Relic. But first, she’ll need to outlast one of the universe's toughest androids, a returning pop icon, and a soda-chugging menace.
Things only get weirder as Ross Gellar of the Foot Clan steps into the ring to face Leonardo of the TMNT. With tensions still high after Ross threw the Turtles' good friend Joey Tribbiani and former Foot Clan member Chandler Bing into piping hot lasagna, this could be revenge, extinction, or a paleontology lecture gone wrong.
In the Divas Championship bout, reigning champion Lola Bunny, backed by her Brigade allies, defends against Clarissa Darling, whose analytical mind and unpredictable offense make her a dark horse threat.
Meanwhile, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and John Locke square off in a battle of logic and festivity. Expect confusion. Expect violence. Expect a deer to fly—probably unwillingly.
For the Tag Team Titles, the Wet Bandits look to defend their gold against Michael Jackson & E.T., fresh off winning the absurdly long contender gauntlet. With the couch saga lingering in their minds and Earthworm Jim possibly lurking, Harry and Marv are as dangerous as ever.
Next up, the Yutt Championship—whatever it truly is—is up for grabs as Electabuzz defends against 50 Cent, Jim Rennie, and the lumbering Kurrgan. Whether this belt has prestige or not is unclear, but the violence will be very, very real.
And in what may be the night’s most elegantly absurd showdown, the Sword Fighting Championship sees modern pop mysticism clash with historical might as Katy Perry defends against none other than Abraham Lincoln. Katy continues to deny being a witch, despite being occused and even caught multiple times, while Lincoln, well… he’s wielding a sword and standing up for what's right.
Finally, the night begins with a special performance by Dasha, setting the tone with her hit “Not at This Party”. But make no mistake—everyone else is at this party… and nobody’s getting out clean. Episode 52 promises glory, betrayal, and possibly steam-cleaned blood. Bring a poncho.

1412 Wrestling Episode 51: Austin v AVGN v Pepsi Man, 40+ Team Gauntlet

Preview: 1412 Wrestling – Episode 51
“The Boil Simmered Over”
 
President Danny Tanner somehow managed to book the most baffling, overcrowded, and emotionally unstable episode of 1412 Wrestling to date. Tensions are high, factions are colliding, and ancient forces may or may not be at play as this unpredictable rollercoaster unfolds across dozens of segments. Here's a look at the matches announced for the night—with no spoilers:
 
Opening Chaos – Tag Team #1 Contenders Gauntlet Match
The night begins with an absolutely massive multi-team gauntlet featuring over 40 of the most bizarre and legendary pairings in 1412 history. From sitcom duos to cosmic warriors, from cereal mascots to time travelers, everyone’s got the same goal: earn a future shot at the Tag Team Titles. Surprises, brawls, and unlikely alliances are guaranteed.
 
Title Unification Match – Yokozuna vs Electabuzz
The Competitive Eating Champion squares off with the Laser Gun Surfing Battle Champion in a high-stakes unification bout. Only one will leave with both titles, and the other might not leave at all.
 
Trios Grudge Match – Tia & Tamara and Ross Geller vs Aly & AJ and Doug Wilson
What began as reality TV beef has mutated into full-scale psychological warfare. Ross Geller continues his descent into villainy, while Aly & AJ fight to keep it together alongside a gardening wildcard.
 
Ancient Relic Match – Alf (c) vs Ariana Grande
Alf puts the power of the ancient relic on the line against Ariana Grande in a match that could shake the very metaphysical foundations of 1412 Wrestling. No magic allowed—but that’s never stopped anyone before.
 
Grudge Match – New Jack vs Akeem the African Dream
Fueled by rage, betrayal, and deeply personal food-based insults, these two powerhouses collide in a brawl that’s anything but scientific.
 
Triple Threat Mayhem – Goldar vs 50 Cent vs Bill Nye
An unexplained match between a galactic warlord, a rap mogul, and a science educator. Nobody knows why this was booked, but it promises to be weird.
 
Sword Fighting Championship – Katy Perry (c) vs Terry Funk vs Skeeter Valentine vs Gary Busey
Four competitors. One glowing sword. Backed by the unhinged presence of the Golf Cart stable, this elimination match might be the most dangerous sword fight yet. Expect blood, ballads, and possibly Biffle.
 
Wildcard Singles Match – Cookie Monster vs Bobby Heenan’s New Surprise Client
The Monster craves cookies. But who’s the new client Heenan’s bringing to the ring? Rumors range from a retired legend to a literal garden gnome. You’ll have to tune in to find out.
 
Six-Way Elimination Match – Felix the Cat vs Cuts Man vs Matt Cardona vs Elvis Presley vs The Moose vs The Scalding Hot Cup of Coffee
A returning mix of forgotten faces, angry fauna, caffeinated horror, and Elvis himself. The only certainty: eliminations will be earned the hard way.
 
Tag Team Championships – The Wet Bandits (c) vs Scott Hall & Kevin Nash
The newly crowned tag champs put the belts on the line against a returning Outsiders duo, but their attention may still be fixated on their missing mystical couch. Could the relic be involved?
 
Spinach Artichoke Dip on a Pole Match – Bars (c) vs Daffy Duck
The Ambush Title Shot Contract is up for grabs—whoever eats the entire bowl of spinach artichoke dip wins. Yes, really. Expect green-fueled carnage, philosophical rants, and personal vendettas.
 
Main Event – 1412 Championship Triple Threat
Stone Cold Steve Austin (c) vs Angry Video Game Nerd vs Pepsi Man
Three icons. One title. A silent soda machine. A profane gamer. And the Rattlesnake. History will be made—if reality doesn’t fracture first.
 
—
 
Catch all the madness in Episode 51—where friendships die, the ring becomes a culinary battlefield, and one champion may not survive the fallout.
 
 
Tag Teams in the Gauntlet: 
Jay & Silent Bob
Bill & Ted
Pete & Pete
Jackie Chan & Spopovich (of the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade, accompanied by Cliff O’Malley)
Michaelangelo & Raphael
Vince Russo & Rihanna
Mulder & Scully
Black Ranger & Blue Ranger
Cory Matthews & Shawn Hunter
The Headbangers
King Hippo & Soda Popinski
Hitmonchan & Hitmonlee
Scott Steiner's Rabid Tigers (accompanied by Scott Steiner)
Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen
Disco Inferno & Alex Wright
Jesse Katsopolis & Joey Gladstone
DJ Tanner & Stephanie Tanner
Cow & Chicken
Ren & Stimpy
Kevin McAllister & Dick Tracy
Billy Gunn & Nikki Bella
Itchy & Scratchy
Purple Stuff Podcast (Matt from Dinosaur Dracula & Jay from Sludge Central)
Kurt Angle & Cocaine Bear
Mean Street Posse (Rodney & Pete Gas)
Al Bundy & Peg Bundy
Ray Stantz & Peter Venkman
Socrates & Billy the Kid
The Minotaur & "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin
Bob Gaffler & Sexy Hank
Dan Conner & Kurrgan
Joey "The Rat" Epstein & Frankie Stecchino
Mike Tyson & a pigeon
Buster Bunny & Babs Bunny
Michael Jackson & E.T.
Kylie Minogue & Dua Lipa
Bebop & Rocksteady
Carl Winslow & Steve Urkel
Phoebe Buffay & Monica Gellar
Toucan Sam & Tony the Tiger
Ace Ventura & Dan Marino
Beavis & Butt-Head

1412 Wrestling Episode 50

1412 Wrestling — Episode 50 Preview
The milestone fiftieth episode of 1412 Wrestling is upon us, and after the absolute insanity of recent weeks, all bets are off. With Earthworm Jim bankrupted and booted from power, Alf now possesses the ancient relic and vows to fix the company.
What’s on tap for Episode 50?
Confirmed for Episode 50:
Ross Geller vs Shawn HunterAfter being thrown into piping hot lasagna by Ross, Joey and Chandler remain hospitalized. Shawn has taken offense to Ross’s nerdy ego trip, while Ross has declared war on his former friends.
Divas Championship 6-Way MatchAndroid 18 defends against Madonna, Nikki Bella, Kimmy Gibbler, Katharine Isabelle, and Lola Bunny (representing the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade). Expect chaos, carnage, and possibly a werewolf.
Tag Team Championships: Aly & AJ vs The Wet BanditsHarry and Marv want their mystical couch back—and the gold. Aly & AJ are determined to keep both out of their greasy mitts. Will this match end clean or with another bizarre act of betrayal?
Hardcore Championship: Four-Way EliminationL.A. Beast defends against Disco Inferno, Artie the Strongest Man in the World, and The Minotaur. Expect snacks, flames, and ancient Sumerians with chainsaws.
Survivor Series Match: Jay & Silent Bob, Bill & Ted, Ariana Grande vs The Mighty Morphin Power RangersThis dream-team nonsense becomes reality with Danny Tanner as special referee. Can the pop culture misfits survive the morphin mayhem?
Stable Championship Match: Steiner’s Army vs The Giant Tree Drinking Lean (by himself)Yes, the Giant Tree is getting a title shot. Yes, he’s still drinking lean.
Competitive Eating Championship: Powdered Donut ChallengeCocaine Bear defends against Yokozuna, Donkeylips, Carl Winslow, Heffer Wolfe, and IP Relay Operator 3211. 5 minutes. One winner. Endless powder.
Sword Fighting Championship: Fox Mulder vs Katy PerryAfter last week’s chaos, Katy Perry challenges for the sword. Will her mysterious vibes and catchy pop tunes prevail over the skeptical Mulder?
Laser Gun Surfing Battle Championship: Bobby Budnick vs ElectabuzzGet your surfboards and laser guns ready. Mr. Feeny has had enough of this match type, but it's back anyway.
Deathmatch: Bars vs New Jack vs Elvis Presley vs MichaelangeloBars defends his Ambush Title Shot Contract in what may be the most dangerous contest of the night. Expect violence, controversy, and possibly another anti-boiled egg tirade.
Debate: Dan Conner vs Jim RennieModerated by Abraham Lincoln, with topics including drywall integrity, Limp Bizkit discourse, and inappropriate Paver allegations. What could go wrong?
Main Event: Six-Man TagKevin Nash, Scott Hall, and X-Pac vs Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mike Tyson, and Freddy Krueger, with Alf as the special guest referee and the ancient relic in his furry hands. The fate of 1412 Wrestling may rest in this match—and in whatever wishes Alf makes next.
Can Alf keep the relic out of enemy hands? Will Austin ever stop Stunnering authority figures? And will the Pavers finally admit what really happened between Dan and Pete?
Tune in to Episode 50 of 1412 Wrestling—a celebration of chaos, absurdity, and the most unpredictable wrestling on the planet.

1412 Wrestling Episode 49: The Nash Regime!?

1412 Wrestling Episode 49: The Nash Regime!?
After the absolute chaos that erupted in last week's main event, tensions are higher than ever in the world of 1412 Wrestling. Questions loom about the fate of the Ancient Relic, the leadership of the company, and the health and sanity of just about everyone on the roster. Will someone finally bring order to the madness? Will the fighting factions find resolution or only dig deeper into war?
Episode 49 promises monumental returns, shocking alliances, out-of-control stipulations, and the kind of unexpected left turns only 1412 Wrestling can deliver. Expect the unexplainable, brace for the unthinkable, and prepare for a night where anything—and absolutely everything—can happen.
And remember: no one is safe… not even the audience.

1412 Wrestling Episode 48: Austin/Savage v Bars/Sonic v Matthews/Mummy v Electabuzz/Magmar

1412 Wrestling - Episode 48 PreviewEverything's spiraling.
After one of the most chaotic runs of shows in company history, 1412 Wrestling Episode 48 promises to raise the insanity to new heights with a lineup that’s equal parts absurd and explosive.
In the main event, it’s a volatile Four-Way Tag Team Match featuring 1412 Champion “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, who must team with the unpredictable “Macho Man” Randy Savage, the very man who holds the Ambush Title Shot contract and could cash in on him at any time. Their uneasy alliance collides with the unorthodox team of Eric Matthews and the Egyptian Mummy, the relentless Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade's Bars and Sonic the Hedgehog, and the fiery elemental combo of Electabuzz and Magmar. With grudges, eggs, and combustible chemistry across the board, this bout could implode before it even begins.
Speaking of tension, L.A. Beast returns from injury to defend the Hardcore Championship against Mileena, whose methods are far from conventional. But Beast’s return may come with more than a match.
The trios division gets weird as Cory Matthews, Shawn Hunter, and Topanga Lawrence step into the ring against Ickis, Krumm, and Oblina in a battle of 90s high school angst vs. raw monster chaos. Can Shawn stay focused? Will Cory crumble under the pressure? Can Topanga out-think literal sewer creatures?
In a truly bizarre pairing, Muhammad Ali is forced to team with Elmer Fudd against Mike Tyson and TMNT's own Sergeant Bananas in a Wildcard Tag Team Match. With Tyson still accompanied by an estimated 100 pigeons and fresh off recent clashes with Ali, Austin, and even Soda Popinski, expect a powder keg.
The Golf Cart stable, still somehow holding the Stable Championships, defends against a mystery team. With their ragtag entourage of Gary Busey, Cliffy Central, Alex Trebek, and a literal Minotaur, can they make it to the bell intact?
In one of the most baffling rivalries yet, the random kid managed by Bobby Heenan faces off with a now-evil Santa Claus, accompanied by the twisted On Point Kings (Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat). Everyone involved is a heel. Expect blood, betrayal, and desecration of holiday spirit.
Another Triple Threat features three men from wildly different worlds: Shredder, still trying to hold the crumbling Foot Clan together, faces former president Freddy Krueger, who lost his job when Earthworm Jim cashed in an Ambush Title Shot on the presidency (yes, that happened), and Abraham Lincoln, who has no business being this good at wrestling.
In the tag team division, Madonna and the Angry Video Game Nerd form an unlikely alliance to take on Phoebe Buffay & Pepsi Man, and Jesse Katsopolis & Joey Gladstone. The AVGN vs. Pepsi Man feud has only grown more heated since the betrayal at Tapefest, and if it spills over again, someone might end up buried in holiday specials and soda cans.
Tag Team Champions Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen finally return to defend their titles against former champions Aly & AJ in a Tables Match. Jordan and Pippen are still nursing injuries from Kevin Nash’s ambush weeks ago, and with Nash constantly stirring the pot, their grip on the gold may be slipping.
Elsewhere, Mulder and Scully have launched a full investigation into President Earthworm Jim, whose recent executive decisions have raised serious concerns about fraud, sanity, and cosmic origin.
Also: the long-simmering Lanford Street Fight between Dan Conner and Paver boss Bob Gaffler finally goes down. The Pavers have long accused Dan of “nailing Pete,” a charge Dan denies.
Plus: a Triple Threat Tag Team Match where the crowd may be the real winner… or loser. The Wet Bandits, Roger Klotz & Harley Keiner, and Hulk Hogan (by himself) face off in a match where no one is likable and everyone has something to prove—or sell.
And of course, Ariana Grande returns, still clutching the wish-granting Ancient Relic that recently made Lady Gaga disappear, and sent Alf to hell . The crowd wants Alf. Ariana wants Gaga. What happens next is anyone’s guess.
Episode 48 is a vortex of combustible rivalries, dangerous relics, improbable victories, and presidential fraud.
Tune in. Bring a helmet. And maybe… hide the eggs.

1412 Wrestling Episode 47: Austin v Tribbiani v Bing v Lola

This week's episode of 1412 Wrestling promises to deliver unforgettable action, shocking confrontations, and a continuation of the chaos that has gripped the roster in recent weeks. As the fallout from last week’s brutal injuries lingers, the commentary team will kick off the show with a somber recap of the damage inflicted: Monica Gellar remains sidelined with a broken back, Raphael is recovering from a severe concussion, and the Tag Team Champions Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen, along with Hardcore Champion L.A. Beast, are out due to Kevin Nash's relentless attacks. Meanwhile, the enigmatic disappearance of Fearsome Flush looms ominously. With a battered roster and tempers flaring, the stakes have never been higher.
 
The evening’s action starts with a grudge match that’s as bizarre as it is heated: Roseanne takes on the random knife-wielding kid managed by Bobby Heenan. With Bobby suspended in a shark cage to ensure no interference, Roseanne has promised to discipline the kid in a way only she can, while the child has offered nothing but insults and chaos. Expect this one to be equal parts comedic and brutal.
 
Macho Man Randy Savage is set to defend his Ambush Title Shot against the cunning Clarissa Darling. Clarissa, known for her ability to strategize and adapt, is looking to pull off a major upset. Meanwhile, Savage has his sights set on the 1412 Championship, but distractions from unexpected quarters could derail his plans.
 
The heated rivalry between Dan Conner and Flashy Frank will explode in a Pavers' Rules Match. With the ring surrounded by construction tools, this brutal contest is sure to push both men to their limits. Flashy Frank has accused Dan of scandalous behavior, while Dan remains steadfast in denying the Pavers’ wild claims. Refereed by Paver Tom Wilkie, this one is guaranteed to leave a lasting impression.
 
In one of the night’s most chaotic bouts, Bars will clash with the Inventor of Boiled Eggs and Hardcore Holly in a triple threat match. The ringside chaos promises to be as wild as the action in the ring, with both competitors joined by their over-the-top entourages, from the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade to the Golf Cart crew. Expect alliances to be tested and egos to collide in this unpredictable showdown.
 
Tag team supremacy is on the line in a massive multi-team match featuring The Wet Bandits, The Pavers, Pete & Pete, Michaelangelo and Donatello (with Leonardo), Tokka & Rahzar (with Shredder), and Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande. With Gaga and Grande still basking in the dark power of the relic they used to banish Alf to hell last week, their impact on the match could be enormous. However, with tensions boiling over between the teams, this promises to be a chaotic masterpiece.
 
The ever-dangerous New Jack will face off against Count Chocula in a clash of polar opposites. New Jack’s raw aggression and vulgarity contrast sharply with Count Chocula’s sugary charm, but don’t let the cereal mascot’s playful persona fool you—this one could turn violent fast.
 
In a 4-Way Brawl 4 All Elimination match, Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, Soda Popinski, and Bart Gunn will square off in a brutal contest where eliminations can only occur via knockout. Tyson will be accompanied by his infamous pigeons, while Gunn’s Golf Cart allies will surely look to tip the scales in his favor. With legends like Ali and wild cards like Popinski in the mix, this match could turn into an all-out war.
 
Finally, the main event will see Steve Austin defend his 1412 Championship in a fatal four-way against Lola Bunny, Joey Tribbiani, and Chandler Bing. With Shredder backing Chandler, Leonardo in Joey’s corner, and Lola’s massive Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade at ringside, Austin will have to dig deep to retain his title. Known for thriving in chaos, Austin will likely bring his signature intensity, but with so many variables in play, this match is truly anyone’s game.
 
From shocking twists to unrelenting action, this episode of 1412 Wrestling is set to deliver on every front. Don’t miss a second of the madness!
 
 

1412 Wrestling Episode 46: The Austin Era Begins!

Preview: A Night of Chaos and Championship Glory!
Fresh off the heels of Tapefest, the latest episode of 1412 Wrestling promises to be a jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud, and adrenaline-fueled spectacle. As the show opens, fans will relive the seismic events from the Pay-Per-View, where Earthworm Jim shockingly ascended to the 1412 Presidency by cashing in his Ambush Title Shot on Freddy Krueger. Relive the unforgettable moments, including Leonardo claiming the Laser Gun Surfing Battle Championship, the random kid’s shocking leg stabbing of the Pavers, and Stone Cold Steve Austin becoming the new 1412 Champion, ushering in a new era.
The Austin Era kicks off in explosive fashion as Disturbed takes the stage for a live performance of Glass Shatters to honor the Texas Rattlesnake. And as Austin himself takes the mic, you can bet he’ll have plenty to say about his championship reign and his message for the locker room.
Championships on the Line!The action heats up as Android 18 defends her Divas Championship against the fearless Lara Croft, while Fox Mulder puts his Sword Fighting Championship on the line against none other than Genghis Khan. Can these champions hold their ground, or will new challengers rise to seize the gold?
Unpredictable Matchups!In a truly bizarre spectacle, Mariah Carey and Santa Claus team up to take on Mike Tyson's army of 100 pigeons and Scott Steiner's ferocious rabid tigers. And in a chaotic three-way clash, Bob Gaffler of the Pavers collides with John Locke and NBA legend Larry Bird. Expect tempers to flare and alliances to shatter!
Tag Team Turmoil!Joey Tribbiani and Donatello face the dastardly duo of Chandler Bing and Baxter Stockman in a tag team clash that threatens to escalate into an all-out war between the TMNT and the Foot Clan. With Shredder and his cronies lurking at ringside, the odds seem stacked against Joey and Donatello.
Grudges and Betrayals!Freddy Krueger, stripped of his presidency, steps into the ring against Greg Biffle, who is backed by an entourage of chaos-loving misfits. Meanwhile, Alf has a bone to pick with Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande after their theft of his ancient relic at Tapefest. Dan Conner will address the Pavers and the "Pete" rumors.
Comedy, Carnage, and Consoles!Strong Bad answers a fan’s email in his trademark sarcastic style, while the Angry Video Game Nerd battles Pepsiman in a wild "Console War" brawl. And don’t miss the 1412 Hardcore Championship bout, where L.A. Beast defends his title against the terrifying Fearsome Flush from the Real Ghostbusters universe.
Presidential Power Plays!New 1412 President Earthworm Jim promises to shake up the landscape of the promotion. With surprises in store, who will benefit—and who will suffer—under his bizarre leadership?
With an action-packed card, unexpected alliances, and more chaos than ever before, this episode of 1412 Wrestling is one you cannot miss. Buckle up, because anything can—and will—happen!

1412 Wrestling Episode 45: Tapefest PPV - Austin v Buu

1412 Wrestling Presents: Tapefest PPV – A Preview of Pure Chaos
 
Prepare yourself for the most unpredictable night in 1412 Wrestling history as Tapefest takes over the surreal and neon-drenched city of Moonside! Hosted by the iconic heroes of Earthbound—Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo—this event promises an unforgettable mix of outrageous action, unexpected twists, and larger-than-life showdowns. The night kicks off with a high-energy performance from the Runaway Five to set the tone for what’s sure to be a legendary event.
 
Survivor Series Elimination Match – A Hot Opener
 
Tapefest wastes no time getting intense as Katharine Isabelle, Demi Lovato, Joyce Wrigley, Alex Mack, and Kelly Kapowski square off against Nikki Bella, Madonna, Dua Lipa, Danielle Harris, and Angelica Pickles. Expect fireworks in this clash of generations, egos, and styles.
 
A Four-Way Clash of Chaos
 
In a bout with high stakes and higher tempers, Vegeta, Yamcha, Michael Myers, and Disco Inferno collide in a wild match with Bulma as the special referee. With pride, grudges, and perhaps a little horror all in the mix, this match will be anything but ordinary.
 
Red Ninja vs. Kelly Bundy
 
A battle of stealth versus sass pits Red Ninja against the cunning Kelly Bundy. Will raw ninja skills overcome Bundy’s unpredictability, or will her wit steal the show?
 
Competitive Eating Championship – Pizza and Pandemonium
 
It’s a three-way pizza-eating contest for the Competitive Eating Championship as Cocaine Bear defends against former champion Joey Tribbiani (accompanied by the TMNT) and Chandler Bing (backed by the Foot Clan). Post-match antics are guaranteed, with Cocaine Bear rumored to have something truly wild planned.
 
Musical Icons and Wrestling Royalty Collide
 
Jeff Jarrett and Honky Tonk Man, with their managers Karen Jarrett and Jimmy Hart, face off against the king himself, Elvis Presley, and his tag partner Jesse Katsopolis. Expect music, mayhem, and Memphis-style madness!
 
Laser Gun Surfing Battle Championship
 
Shredder, alongside his sinister allies, defends the Laser Gun Surfing Battle Championship against Leonardo and the TMNT. Intergalactic stakes and an army of allies make this match one for the ages.
 
Sword Fighting Championship
 
Fox Mulder defends his Sword Fighting Championship against the ancient and formidable Egyptian Mummy, with Commissioner Eric Matthews overseeing the chaos.
 
Six-Man Tag Team Mayhem
 
The Pavers (Bob Gaffler, Flashy Frank, and Sexy Hank) take on Kurrgan, Jim Rennie, and Michael Bolton in what promises to be a brutal and bizarre encounter.
 
Divas Championship
 
The reigning champion Android 18 defends her title against the legendary Betty White, whose wisdom and wit may just surprise everyone.
 
Stable Championships
 
The Flintstones put their titles on the line against the powerhouse team of the Golf Cart, featuring a wild entourage that includes chainsaw-wielding ancient Sumerians.
 
John Locke vs. Electabuzz
 
The enigmatic John Locke steps into the ring against Electabuzz in a clash of philosophical resolve versus raw electric energy.
 
Abraham Lincoln vs. Rolento
 
The former president brings his signature wrestling chops to a match against Rolento, in what’s sure to be a fight for the ages.
 
Muhammad Ali vs. The Moose
 
The greatest boxer of all time faces the most unexpected opponent yet—a moose. Pure absurdity awaits!
 
Tag Team Madness
 
Strong Mad & The Cheat, accompanied by Santa Claus, take on The Angry Video Game Nerd & Pepsiman in a bout that promises to be as chaotic as it is bizarre.
 
Dumpster Match for the Tag Team Championships
 
In one of the most anticipated bouts of the night, six teams—including Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen, Goldar & King Sphinx, Pete & Pete, Demolition, Cory Matthews & Shawn Hunter, and Dan Marino & Ace Ventura—battle it out in an over-the-top Dumpster Match to determine tag team supremacy.
 
Hardcore Elimination Scramble Match
 
A chaotic five-way match to crown the inaugural Hardcore Champion sees Hardcore Holly, L.A. Beast, Carl Winslow, Magmar, and Cliff O’Malley face off in a no-holds-barred brawl. Expect alliances, betrayals, and total destruction.
 
Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande vs. Alf & a Mystery Partner
 
The pop megastars take on Alf and a surprise partner in a match that promises magic, music, and unexpected twists.
 
Mariah Carey & Hulk Hogan vs. Stephanie Tanner & Macho Man Randy Savage
 
Mariah Carey and Hulk Hogan team up in a grudge match against Stephanie Tanner and the Macho Man Randy Savage, with the Tanner family ringside for support.
 
Main Event: Flaming Steel Cage Match
 
In the ultimate showdown, Majin Buu defends the 1412 Championship against Stone Cold Steve Austin in a Flaming Steel Cage Match. With the championship and personal pride on the line, this match promises to bring the house down.
 
 
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Tapefest is shaping up to be the most unpredictable, action-packed event in 1412 Wrestling history. Don’t miss it!
 
 

1412 Wrestling Episode 44: Austin/Jesse v Buu/Steiner

Prepare yourself for another night of unparalleled chaos, unexpected alliances, and jaw-dropping moments as 1412 Wrestling returns for its 44th episode! The stakes have never been higher as the fallout from recent rivalries spills into tonight's action-packed card.
 
In a thrilling opener, Muhammad Ali steps into the ring to prove why he’s still “The Greatest” against an opponent brimming with confidence in Demi Lovato. Will Ali’s fists do the talking, or will his challenger shock the world?
 
The Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade is never far from controversy, and tonight, Spopovich represents the faction in a unique "Dinosaur Bones Are Legal" match against a fired-up Ross Geller, who has backup from Monica and Rachel. With the Brigade lurking at ringside, anything could happen.
 
The Sword Fighting Championship is on the line as Tyrannosatan defends against the unlikeliest of challengers, Fox Mulder. Can Mulder solve this prehistoric mystery, or will Tyrannosatan’s reign of terror continue?
 
In the Divas division, Android 18 faces her toughest challenge yet in a triple threat match against the deadly Mileena and the iconic Kylie Minogue, who’s channeling her Street Fighter roots. With gold on the line, expect fast-paced action and fierce competition.
 
Last week, we saw the Anti-Boiled Egg Brigade burn Austin's truck over chocolate ice cream. How will Austin decide to seek his revenge? We also saw the Pavers debut last week laying waste to both Dan Conner and Steve Austin. Will the Pavers make another impact this week?
 
The main event promises absolute carnage as Majin Buu and Scott Steiner, flanked by Steiner’s rabid tigers, take on Stone Cold Steve Austin and Jesse Katsopolis. With personal vendettas driving all four competitors, this match is sure to leave the arena in ruins.
 
Plus, a high-stakes Six-Way Ladder Match offers a guaranteed Ambush Title Shot, a backstage party threatens to derail the night, and unexpected confrontations are sure to ignite new rivalries. What will happen when tensions boil over and surprises come from every corner?
 
With champions standing tall, challengers lurking, and chaos guaranteed, 1412 Wrestling Episode 44 promises to deliver unforgettable moments. Tune in to witness the madness unfold!
 
 

1412 Wrestling Episode 43: Buu/Busey/Sheik v Austin/Rodman/Hogan

Prepare for another wild night of unpredictability, chaos, and over-the-top action as 1412 Wrestling brings you Episode 43! This week’s lineup is packed with thrilling matches, bizarre confrontations, and intense rivalries that promise to keep you glued to your seat. Here's a sneak peek at some of the must-see action:
 
Stone Cold Steve Austin is Back in Action!
The Texas Rattlesnake steps into the ring against a formidable opponent in Soda Popinski, in what promises to be a hard-hitting brawl. With his sights set firmly on the 1412 Championship, can Stone Cold build momentum, or will chaos get the better of him?
 
The Divas Championship is on the Line!
Reigning champion Android 18 faces a fierce challenge from a former titleholder. Expect a fast-paced, high-stakes battle that could shift the balance of power in the Divas division.
 
A Bizarre #1 Contender's Match for the Competitive Eating Championship!
Get ready for a spectacle as Cocaine Bear goes head-to-head with the smooth-talking Mac Tonight in an epic eating contest. Reigning champion Heffer Wolfe will be at the commentary desk, keeping a close eye on his next challenger.
 
An Explosive Main Event Six-Man Tag Match!
Legends collide as Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Dennis Rodman team up to take on the unpredictable trio of Majin Buu, Gary Busey, and Iron Sheik. With rivalries boiling over and tempers flaring, this match promises to end the night with a bang.
 
Tag Team Mayhem!
Fan-favorites The Tick and Kevin McAllister join forces to take on the dangerous duo of Bebop & Rocksteady, with Shredder lurking at ringside. Can this unlikely pair outwit and overpower their ruthless opponents?
 
 
With unexpected twists, outrageous antics, and plenty of surprises in store, Episode 43 is shaping up to be a can't-miss event. Don’t miss all the action as the most unpredictable wrestling show on the planet delivers another unforgettable night!